brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
