Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
