god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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