I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
