wrigley field is MILF paradise
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
