he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
