final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
