sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I looked at my own cervix.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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