When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize