I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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