Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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