My friends, they love my intelligence
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
