how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
