Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He has the fingertips of a God
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