and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
