New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
