Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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