can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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