Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
