I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
