dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
