No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
