i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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