Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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