He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
