its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
