So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize