He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
