We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
