I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
