The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
