I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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