dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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