Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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