I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
