so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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