Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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