he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
