I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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