he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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