You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
