I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
