my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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