We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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