You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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