what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
