Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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