people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
