Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
