it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
