my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
