I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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