I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
