yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
