how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
