How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ugly people sure do ruin things
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
