i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
