He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well you can't waste a boner
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
