Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
As shirtless as possible
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
