I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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