found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
