He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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