We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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