Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
