that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's always time for handjobs
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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