I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
