I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize