Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
