and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
