do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
