Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
