Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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