I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
