why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
