if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
